-By Warner Todd Huston
Are you a stupid American? Obama’s government thinks you are. So stupid, in fact, that his US Forest Service felt it necessary to give us all a 700-word article on how to roast marshmallows. Because, you know, you are all too stupid to know how to do it safely, and all.
Pete Kasperowicz found this gem of government nannyism at our nation’s oh, so helpful website of the US Department of Agriculture. It is entitled, “US Forest Service Asks: How Does Your Marshmallow Roast?.”
The nanny-state-styled instructions takes its cue from National Roasted Marshmallow Day (it was August 30, if you care even a little) and takes the time to give us all the safety procedures we’ll need to roast marshmallows without doing egregious harm to our stupid, dumbass selves.
Here is the third paragraph of the Forest Service how-to guide:
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Obama’s Nanny-State, Government-Sponsored Instructions For ‘How To Roast Marshmallows’”
A new school lesson plan hopes to capitalize on the unrest in Ferguson, Missouri that erupted after a police officer shot a black youth early in August. The plan urges kids to agree with the Black Panthers, a racist, hate group that urges segregation, and accept the demands they issued in the past.
As Islam remains the biggest threat facing the world today, Obama’s feckless FBI has released a “threat assessment” report that doesn’t mention Islamic terror at all. According to Obama, it is white people who are the threat.
Leave it to leftist Illinois to use a museum dedicated to celebrating Abraham Lincoln, one of the greatest presidents in history, as a platform to celebrate a loser like Adlai Stevenson while at the same time ignoring Ronald Reagan, a native son, big winner, and another greatest president.
We already know that the fascist, authoritarian left wants to ban anyone and anything they don’t agree with. But usually they have the good sense not to say so out loud for fear that people will realize they are fascist authoritarians. But one “journalist” finally admitted the truth.
Last weekend Illinois GOP candidate for Governor Bruce Rauner took the ALS “ice bucket challenge.” When he did he urged Illinois Democrat leaders to join him in the challenge. In reply, the state’s Democrat House leader outrageously found a way to link the charitable challenge to a claim that Republicans are like the ISIS terrorists in Iraq!
Fraser Nelson of The Spectator did some number crunching recently and found a shocking fact: Britain is poorer than every State in the USA but one.
So, a Starbucks in St. Petersburg, Florida went on a 10-hour roll with every customer buying the order of the customer behind them in the location’s drive through. But it all came to a screeching halt when customer number 458 refused to play along.
Hey, you racist, black-murdering, stupid, heatless white people, The Atlantic wants you to know that the riots in Ferguson are all your fault because you don’t care… or something like that.
Obama’s “Cash for Clunkers” program was his idea to save American auto buyers money and help “green” the roads at the same time. But the program was a monumental failure. It was so bad it has now been determined that it didn’t save anyone anything. In fact, it cost America 6 billion in wasted dollars!
A religion hating Tennessee High School teacher gave one of her students a suspension for daring to say “bless you” to a fellow student who sneezed even after the teacher banned the use of “God talk” in her classroom.
For the first time our clownish vice president, Joey Biden, was finally useful to someone in this nation when a Washington State man used the “Joe Biden” defense to get himself out of a gun charge.
So-called ethicist Richard Dawkins, famed as the world’s most active militant atheist, has now decided that all babies that don’t fit his definition of worthy should be aborted and that it is actually “immoral” if they are allowed to be born. Thus he feels that babies with Down Syndrome must be aborted and it is “immoral” not to do so.
One of Barack Obama’s illegal aliens upon whom one of his illegal alien protection acts was bestowed has been found guilty of killing two little girls in a car accident but has been released from jail because she is protected by Obama.
I held off on writing a whole lot about Ferguson for the reason that I had no idea what happened and for many days there was no way to determine anything. But now it is beginning to look like the cop is innocent of “murder,” that teenager Michael Brown was a thug, and that the protesters are all 100% in the wrong.
On Monday the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that, contrary to Governor Quinn’s rosy statements, Illinois has lost jobs over the last year. In fact job numbers are worse than they’ve been in 35 years.
A Huffington Post “Justice Reporter”–whatever that means–named Ryan J. Reilly made himself look foolish twice in the same day as he “reported” on the unrest in Ferguson, Missouri this weekend and in one post even made the attempt to enflame racial strife.
Looks like CNN is trying to cover Obama’s rear end by quietly changing its story about how the DOJ’s Eric Holder told the Ferguson police to withhold the video showing slain teen Michael Brown robbing a local store. It now appears that Obama wanted riots to happen in Ferguson.
Glenn Greenwald, the columnist famed for coming to the support of NSA leaker Edward Snowden, has chimed in on the unrest in Ferguson, Missouri, by hinting that Israel is to blame for influencing the police there.
Once again we get to see the how the powers that run our media establishment are sold out to the far left with this story of how some of Sgt. Bowe Bergdhal’s platoon mates were blocked from selling a book they’d written because it might make President Obama look bad.
Can cities take our taxes, but pass laws that force local citizens to individually pay for services anyway, thereby making tax dollars used solely to pay city worker’s salaries? One city in New Jersey is trying this ploy, anyway.
Here is a perfect example of why unions should be outlawed for all government workers. And I do mean all government workers. A new study finds that we, the American taxpayer, are ripped off to the tune of $23.5 million a year in tax money that goes to pay IRS union members to do union work while they are on the clock and supposed to be working for we, the people.
All week we’ve been exploring America’s ten most left-biased working journalists and now we come to spot number four on the list. And so, for his close attention to pushing the spin and as one of the most active members of the Old Media’s Obama Butt Covering squad, we are pleased to award the number four spot to NBC Political Director Chuck Todd.