-By Nancy Morgan
Uncle Sam used to resemble my rich old uncle, the uncle that didn’t visit very much but would always be there for us in a crisis. Uncle Sam would take care of the things our family couldn’t take care of ourselves, like war, natural disasters and various other crises. But Uncle Sam is getting old and has decided he wants to move in with us.
Since a lot of us are living without fathers, this is good news. Finally, someone to take charge and guide us. Someone who will go to obscene lengths to make us safe and happy, full of self esteem and good little citizens. You know, kinda like Dad used to do before marriage became so, well, outdated.
It’s a very secure feeling knowing that Uncle Sam is looking out for our best interests. He got the lady down the hall to quit smoking, just in case they find out some day that 2nd hand smoke causes cancer. He got cars to use special gas additives and even mandated using biofuels so cars don’t pollute Mother Earth. It wasn’t his fault that the special gas turned out to cause cancer and biofuels are causing food prices to skyrocket. His intentions were the best, so you really can’t fault him.
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