Sympathy Vote: Supporting a Terminally Stupid Man for Toledo’s Mayor

-By Warner Todd Huston

Toledo’s mayor isn’t officially mentally challenged, of course. But he is a silly, bitter, idiot of a man… not to insult the word “man.” Back on December 8, good ol’ Carty “the Fink” Finkbeiner announced a grave concern that he had about the outrage by Toledo radio station WSPD. The station, caught red handed trying to inform the city of the work of a group that had formed to get the Finkster recalled, was violating the Federal Communication Commission’s rules by their focus on the flay-the-fink movement, the Mayor sonorously intoned.

Of course, Fiklegroaner has been after WSPD for a while now indulging in a years-long feud. This time WSPD, 1370 on your Toledo AM dial, came in for the Fink’s scolding for its supposed “vicious, one-sided diatribes” unleashed over the last three years. Now, as an aside, it is interesting that Carty would claim to know much about a “one-sided” anything seeing as how he has run as a candidate for just about every party in Toledo. Finkboner can’t be counted on much to see any “one side” of anything, unless it his his side. He’s at one time been a Republican, an Independent and a Democrat and rumor has it he’s next going to take a stab at asking the Klingon Party if he might take their nomination next time he runs for office.

And, why not be a Klingon, anyway? After all we are told that Klingons love violence and Finkleblinker has a reputation for trying to beat up anyone that seems to disagree with him. And I am not talking about politically beating them up, either, I’m talking about physically taking swings at people that don’t tell him what a swell guy he is.

Anyway, his latest beef with WSPD is proof yet again that he just isn’t a very educated fella. Here’s what the Toledo Blade (a paper that is no slouch in the field of being silly itself) reported of Finkie’s latest laugher:

Mr. Finkbeiner accused WSPD-AM, 1370, of violating the Fairness Doctrine in not allowing him to respond to what he said were “vicious, one-sided diatribes” over the last three years, and said he would ask Congress to investigate WSPD.

The estimable Brian Wilson, on-air personality and WSPD program director, was a bit taken aback at the Finkweener’s little diatribe. After all, it is a bit hard for WSPD to be violating the Fairness Doctrine. It was repealed in 1984 way back when Ronald Reagan was president. And Wilson should know. He’s a trained professional, after all!

Some of you may remember Finkrimmer as the Toledo Mayor that refused to let our U.S. Marines debark from their busses when they arrived in Toledo for some exercises that had already been approved by the city. So, Finkflamer goes from hating our troops to proving he doesn’t even know of the status of laws repealed decades ago. Yep, Toledo has a real winner there.

You know, after a short reflection, I have to take back one thing I wrote above. Finkwanker is probably not going to run for the Klingon Party nomination. They habitually kill the terminally stupid before puberty so he wouldn’t fit their criteria.

Looks like Finkweasle is outta luck with the Star Trek fans on that one.

Besides, if you really look at him, he looks more like Dr. Smith from the old Lost in Space TV show. Bubble headed boobie, indeed.

(H/T Maggie Thurber of Thurber’s Thoughts for the heads up on this hilarity.)

Warner Todd Huston is a Chicago based freelance writer, has been writing opinion editorials and social criticism since early 2001 and is featured on many websites such as, Human Events Magazine,, New Media Journal, Men’s News Daily and the New Media Alliance among many, many others. Additionally, he has been a frequent guest on talk-radio programs to discuss his opinion editorials and current events. He has also written for several history magazines and appears in the new book “Americans on Politics, Policy and Pop Culture” which can be purchased on He is also the owner and operator of Feel free to contact him with any comments or questions : EMAIL Warner Todd Huston

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