A Letter to My Wrestlers

-By Lee Culpepper

Note to readers: I felt compelled to publish this letter because of the direction that half of America seems to want to take this country. Most of my wrestlers are new to the sport. Due to the hard work and tough nature that wrestling requires, more than 50% of the boys who attended the first practice quit within the first week. As an English teacher also, I have seen the same lack of perseverance and work ethic in the classroom, and it saddens me. I don’t know that my philosophy is the answer to this problem. But I do know the answer does not exist in telling kids—or anyone– that they “deserve” or are “entitled” to anything just because they are Americans. I also know that most of my athletes and students perform better when they take this message to heart.

Dear Wrestlers and Parents,

I would like to use this opportunity to share some thoughts with you regarding our upcoming season. Among my own goals, I want each of you (wrestlers) to develop qualities that will help you succeed both on and off the mat. In life, it is important for you to appreciate that what we obtain or accomplish too easily, we tend to value too lightly. Most accomplishments that are meaningful and worthwhile require hard work and dedication. To be successful, you must be willing to make sacrifices concerning your free time. Working when you may not feel like working is not always fun (just ask your parents), but it always pays off if you have the discipline to do it.
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The Diversity Party

-By Lee Culpepper

If Obama and Democrats were truly the party of diversity, why would they want to eliminate America’s distinctive, capitalist society from the world? Aren’t there already enough mediocre, socialist nations clogging up the globe?

Honestly, despite the demagogues in Congress meddling in the free market and causing America’s current hardships, our country clearly remains in a class all by itself. And with the plethora of second-rate nations in the world, America’s unique success makes its minority status irrefutable. Therefore, shouldn’t liberals be advocating special concessions, considerations, and accommodations for America in the spirit of diversity?

Additionally, with all the hyphenated Americans that liberals have created, I think I am a minority now, too. I used to think I was an American with no hyphen required. Today, however, I have seen the light. Thanks to the Democrats’ politically correct agenda, I have discovered that I am an American-Constitutionalist (A-C) as opposed to an American-Hooligan-Outlaw-Lawyer-or-Evolutionist (A-HOLE). Yet, unlike other minorities who are apparently blossoming, A-Cs are a dwindling breed. Our origin is nearly forgotten in today’s society. We did not come from a single place, but we did share a common set of values. The first A-C’s brought with them a belief that man was created in God’s image versus evolving from some cosmic accident. They valued human life higher than animals, vegetables, and minerals. They lived in a time when most Americans still worshiped their Creator, not creatures or creation. They placed their hope and faith in God and themselves, not governments and demagogues. I know it sounds like a fairy tale today, almost like the chronicle of dinosaurs. But both histories are true.
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Taxes From Heaven

-By Lee Culpepper

Dear Senator McCain,

Without knowing you personally, I have judged you rather harshly during your campaign based on what I consider some lousy decisions in your past and public service. In forming those judgments, however, I did not consider the full-time job I have trying to make the right decision all the time myself. We should all probably look very closely in the mirror before condemning someone else, especially regarding decisions in his distant past. For failing to practice what I know is wise, I sincerely apologize to you.

I am an every-day guy, Senator McCain. I realize that the blessings in my life are owed to God, family, country, and fellow Americans. I am proud to have served America as a Marine. And today, I am trying to inspire young people to make the most of the opportunities America provides them. I believe I have discovered my “Greater Cause” in contributing to the lives of students and in encouraging them to rely on facts, not feelings.
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A Trojan Horse Made of Charter-School Money

-By Lee Culpepper

Finally, Obama’s Greek pillars in Denver seem to make sense. In Greek Mythology, Odysseus sought to gain entrance into Troy, so he cleverly had a huge wooden horse built in which he and Greek soldiers could hide. Tricked into believing the horse was safe and would bring them good luck, the Trojans dragged the horse into Troy –ignoring the protests of Cassandra, the Trojan princess.

Imagining himself as a modern day Odysseus, Obama is plotting to smuggle the National Education Association (NEA) into charter schools. But since charter school supporters would almost certainly not fall for a big wooden horse today, Obama has concocted a beguiling vow to double the amount of funding for charter schools. What better way to conceal NEA marauders and meddlesome bureaucrats than to stuff them inside deceptive government handouts?

Should charter-school advocates ignore the mythology lesson and jubilantly drag the proposed cash inside their schools, they will surely awaken wishing that reality were only a drunken stupor. In the aftermath, they will realize too late that the NEA and bureaucrats have already toppled them. By then, administrators and the NEA will have charter schools mired in the same muck of central control, worthless regulations, and bureaucratic red tape that plagues so many traditional schools.
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Liberals Hold Off China in Propaganda All-Around

-By Lee Culpepper

Spanning the globe to bring you a constant variety of pretense! The make-believe thrills of socialism…and forsaken agony of actual consequences! The human drama of presumptuous politics! This is LIB’s Wide World of Programming!

Even with all the scandals hovering over the Beijing Olympics, communist China continues to trail liberals in the art of propaganda and masquerade. China, like the left, pretends to be champions of the common man, yet history and facts prove the opposite.

When it comes to exploiting, pillaging, and deceiving downtrodden people, China and liberals are battling for the title, but both easily dominate the rest of the competition.
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America’s Political Gag Reflex

-By Lee Culpepper

With Obama’s lead in the polls disappearing, a steady stream of doubt is now being poured over Obama’s nervous and inverted campaign. The great orator appears ready to crack. Soon, Obama could be flip-flopping so swiftly that the infamous 90 seconds required to break someone through waterboarding will seem like eternity. If swearing to be a born-again conservative would make him president, Obama would find a way to deliver the announcement and still pacify his government-dependent audience.

Based on the new moderate direction of Obama’s campaign, would it surprise anyone if liberals called for a resolution to outlaw the whole election process? It is now eerie watching Obama flipping and flopping on the campaign trail as he frantically tries to tell mentally stable Americans what he hopes they want to hear. Meanwhile, he continues to soothe his cult of mesmerized followers with his encrypted-socialist message. But as panic and confusion gradually overtake the great orator’s senses, the cult’s best strategy might be to protest about how forcing Obama to continue campaigning simulates government-sponsored torture. Clearly, campaigning is extracting bogus information from the Democrat’s presumptive candidate.

At the current pace, August may well end with Obama swearing that he advocates — on a limited basis — small government and self-reliance. He might even say that although he has opposed the war in Iraq from the beginning, he has always been open to supporting certain parts of it in order to win the election. With just a few more imaginary flips, Obama might flop to the right of McCain – threatening to pose as the more conservative candidate.
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