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Obama’s Maya Shankar, A 20-Something Hottie That Thinks She Knows How You Should Lead Your Life

-By Warner Todd Huston

What does a hottie in her late 20s who spent most of her life trying to be a violin virtuoso know about anything? Apparently everything as she has been put in charge of Obama’s “nudge squad” and will henceforth be telling you how to lead your life.

Watch out Michelle, here comes Maya Shankar to do some nudgin’

Maya Shankar has been appointed as chief nudge in Obama’s new “behavioral insights team,” another tax-wasting group whose task will be to figure out cunning ways to push Americans into doing what Obama and his big government playmates want them to do.

And dreams can come true if you are a violinist attending Yale. As it happens, Shankar was pronounced one of the Glamour magazine’s 2006 “top ten college women” and back then in the old days had gushed that her dream job would be to serve as one of Obama’s top science advisors.

But what does one do when one washes out of violin prodigy-ness? Why fulfill that standby dream by joining the Obama administration, of course.

So, viola… I mean voila… the little cutie shipped off to Washington to become the cutest little nudge you ever did see. And, as precious as it is, she’s already issued her first o-fish-i-al memo about her new multi-trillion dollar agency–because all federal agencies cost us trillions at this point, I’m pretty sure.

We are already working with over a dozen federal departments and agencies on newly-designed behavioral insights projects including the Department of Labor, Department of Health and Human Services, Department of Education, Veterans Administration, Department of Treasury, Social Security Administration, Department of Housing and Urban Development, and the United States Department of Agriculture.

Of course the concept of the “nudge” is the baby of another one of Obama’s smarter-than-thou advisers, Cass “Bright as the” Sunstein.

The idea is that the bright boys (and hottie chicks) in government know what’s better for us because, well, heck, they are just better than we poor, loutish, dimwits who are no better than the H.G. Wells’s Morlocks. Or maybe his Eloi. In any case we are all too stupid to know what’s good for us. We need guidance, ya know?

Of course, this is all a sure fire success, isn’t it? I mean Michael Bloomberg has been so wildly successful as Nanny Bloomberg of New York, we all know.

And, girl, don’t worry a bit about those creeps out there that will make fun of you for your tender age. If someone as wet behind the ears as Barack Obama can become president after never finishing anything he started previous to that, well, my girl, the sky’s the limit for you. After all, you went long enough with your violin’ to wash out. So, at least you completed that!

So, we here want to wish great success to our cute-as-a-button new chief nudge. Aside from wanting to know if she’s free for dinner and a show… and she’s probably easy, too. She’s a liberal after all… there is just one thing I’d like to pass on to the girl, a concept I am sure she’s never once encountered in all her many, many 20-something years of experience:

May it be to the world, what I believe it will be, (to some parts sooner, to others later, but finally to all,) the signal of arousing men to burst the chains under which monkish ignorance and superstition had persuaded them to bind themselves, and to assume the blessings and security of self-government. All eyes are opened, or opening, to the rights of man. The general spread of the light of science has already laid open to every view the palpable truth, that the mass of mankind has not been born with saddles on their backs, nor a favored few booted and spurred, ready to ride them legitimately, by the grace of God.

–Thomas Jefferson, letter to Roger C. Weightman, June 24, 1826

Maya, my little dear, I’ll wait here while you run off to Google this “Thomas Jefferson” fellow.

Kisses

Signed,
Your friend,
Warner Todd Huston
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“The only end of writing is to enable the reader better to enjoy life, or better to endure it.”
–Samuel Johnson

Warner Todd Huston is a Chicago based freelance writer. He has been writing opinion editorials and social criticism since early 2001 and before that he wrote articles on U.S. history for several small American magazines. His political columns are featured on many websites such as Andrew Breitbart’s BigGovernment.com, BigHollywood.com, and BigJournalism.com, as well as RightWingNews.com, MrConservative.com, CanadaFreePress.com, StoptheACLU.com, Wizbang.com, among many, many others. Mr. Huston is also endlessly amused that one of his articles formed the basis of an article in Germany’s Der Spiegel Magazine in 2008.

For a full bio, please CLICK HERE.