Idiot We Call Senator Makes Fool of Self

-By Warner Todd Huston

Seat warmer Roland Burris, the doddering Illinois pol that bought his Senate seat from the criminal Governor that now sits awaiting to be sent to jail wanted to give the Senate some good cheer today during the socialist helathcare debate.

Burrie thought maybe a poem would help bring the Senate together in its hour of bickering…

… so much for the congeniality of the Senate, eh? This creep thought he’d use the Christmas spirit for partisan name calling and vitriol.

What a jerk.

But my friend Moe Lane had a better version that trades tit for tat…

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the Senate
Dems schemed over health care. Who cares what was in it?
The majority planned, in guise of reform,
To pass their agenda in one perfect storm.

“We own the whole Senate!” cried they with a grin.
“Not to mention the House! It’ll get voted in.”
(Though there was no need, at least right this second;
But the vision of partisan triumphing beckoned.)

The Republican Senators of course could not win
Because their minority was simply too thin.
– But across every state there rose such a clatter
From people the Democrats thought didn’t matter.

So Dems sprang to their desks and they ran to the floor
To pass something quick, lest the mob at the door
Would then make it clear, in terms fairly raucous
That the country was mad at their pork-ridden caucus.

“Hey, POTUS! Hey, Speaker! Hey, YOU! Harry Reid!
What games are you playing in our hour of need?”
The jobs are all going, we know who to blame:
And don’t think to worry: we’ll remember your name.”

Burris could care less, because he’s retiring;
He knows that he can’t be subject to firing.
And so, Blago’s Revenge can push for a fight
That won’t ever cost him a single lost night.

They bribed their three-fifths, there under the dome
And bleary-eyed Senators rose to go home.
A party-line vote – and wasn’t it fun?
Because I assure you, it’s only begun.

The people out there did vote for Obama
They didn’t vote, though, for this kind of drama.
Poll numbers on this have dropped out of sight!
So Merry Christmas to all! Hugs and kisses, the Right.

For the record, here is that jerk, Burris’ version:

It was the night before Christmas, and all through the Senate
The Right held up our health care bill, no matter what was in it.

The people had voted a mandated reform
But Republicans blew off the gathering storm.

We’ll clog up the Senate, they cried with a grin.
And in the midterm elections, we’ll get voted in.

They knew regular folks needed help right this second
But fundraisers and lobbyists and politics beckoned.

So try as they might, Democrats could not win
Because the majority was simply too thin.

Then across every state there rose such a clatter
The whole Senate rushed out to see what was the matter.

All sprang up from their desk and ran from the floor
Straight through the cloakroom and right out the door.

What in the world would be quite so raucous
But a mandate for change from the Democratic caucus.

The President, the Speaker, and, of course, Leader Reid
Had answered the call in our hour of need.

More rapid than eagles, the provisions they came
And they whistled and shouted and called them by name.

Better coverage, cost savings, a strong public plan, accountable options.
We said, yes, we can. No exclusions or changes for preexisting conditions.

The Democrats all came together to fight
For the American people that Christmas Eve night.

And then in a twinkle, I heard under the dome
The roll call was closed, and it was time to go home.

Despite the obstructionist tactics of some
The filibuster had broken, the people had won.

And a good bill was ready for President Obama
Ready to sign and end health care drama.

Democrats explained as they drove out of sight
Better coverage for all, even our friends on the right.

And I say to all of my colleagues in this season, Merry Christmas and a happy, happy New Year.

____________
“The only end of writing is to enable the reader better to enjoy life, or better to endure it.”
–Samuel Johnson

Warner Todd Huston is a Chicago based freelance writer, has been writing opinion editorials and social criticism since early 2001 and is featured on many websites such as Andrew Breitbart’s BigGovernment.com, RightWingNews.com, CanadaFreePress.com, StoptheACLU.com, TheRealityCheck.org, RedState.com, Human Events Magazine, AmericanDailyReview.com, and the New Media Journal, among many, many others. Additionally, he has been a frequent guest on talk-radio programs to discuss his opinion editorials and current events and is currently the co-host of “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Conservatism” heard on BlogTalkRadio. Warner is also the editor of the Cook County Page for RedCounty.com.

He has also written for several history magazines and appears in the new book “Americans on Politics, Policy and Pop Culture” which can be purchased on amazon.com. He is also the owner and operator of PubliusForum.com. Feel free to contact him with any comments or questions : EMAIL Warner Todd Huston

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