Doncha Love Chicago Deep-Bleep Politics?

-By John Armor

Mark Twain noted that any word becomes funny when repeated often enough. The arrest of Illinois Governor Blagojevich provided proof of that, in the excerpts from the tapes.

Here’s my analysis of the Chicago situation (Blagojevich fought his way up from the South Side) in the language of the soon-to-be former Governor, and his equally articulate wife.

The arrest of yet another bleeping Chicago politician because he was stealing bleeping everything that wasn’t bleeping tied down is no surprise to anyone who reads the bleeping papers, and doesn’t have bleep for brains. So the fact that yet another bleeping Governor of Illinois (new state motto, “Cradle of Bleeping Corruption) is going to jail is old bleeping hat.

What makes it interesting is that the soon-to-be President-Elect, Barack Obama, was born and raised in the same bleeping political cradle, working with the same bleeping crooks as the bleeping Governor, for bleep’s sake. Hellooo? Isn’t anyone paying bleeping attention to what’s in front of our bleeping faces?

Obama says he had no bleeping meetings with the bleeping Governor about selling Obama’s bleeping seat in the US Senate to the highest bleeping bidder. Well, of course not. When corruption is being discussed in bleeping Chicago, it is only the bleeping political muldoons who talk about it personally. That’s why the bleeping big shots have bleeping staff.

About his staff, Obama says he doesn’t bleeping believe that any of them have had any such contacts. Doesn’t believe is not the same as didn’t have. The reason a lot of politicians are bleeping lawyers is that lawyers have their bleeping ethics surgically removed at birth. Then they are trained in bleeping law school to write sentences that seem to say one bleeping thing, but actually say the bleeping opposite.

Rahm Emanuel is slated to be the bleeping Chief of Staff for Obama. What is the role of a bleeping Chief of Staff? In the immortal works of Larry the Bleeping Cable Guy, it is to “Git ‘er done.” Raise no bleeping questions. Make no bleeping objections, especially ones based on ethics, as if the boss gave a bleep about that. Just git ‘er done.

Now, Emanuel is a bleeping expert in that. He trained under Bill Clinton, who when he dies doesn’t need a bleeping coffin, They can just screw him into the bleeping ground with his bleeping business card in his hand.

Okay, well among the tidbits the US Attorney put on the public record was an expurgated excerpt of a two hour bleeping conversation between the bleeping Governor, his bleeping staff, his potty-mouthed wife, and assorted political bleeping advisors, some of them in Washington.

In it, the Governor said, “Bleep Obama.” if he won’t pony up the bleeping cash or benefits that the Governor wants. Now, what happened right after this conversation? Why, the bleeping Office of the (Not So Fast) President-Elect announced that his preferred candidate to get the bleeping Senate nod was withdrawing, and would join his bleeping White House staff instead.

It wasn’t until days later that the story of that bleeping phone call got out in the bleeping press. Obama had to have inside bleeping knowledge about that phone call, so he could duck and bleeping run for cover, before the bleeping story broke. And who is the bleeping advisor who told Obama about that call and advised him to get his bleeping bleep far away from the bleeping Governor before the bleeping press got wise? Most likely that was bleeping Rahm Emanuel.

Now, as a sidebar story to the bleeping Obama angle, we have the bleeping Jesse Jackson, Jr., angle. That bleeping con artist was told through bleeping aides that if he ponied up one and a half bleeping million dollars for the Governor’s reelection bid, he could have the bleeping seat. Despite Congressman Jackson’s bleeping press conference when he almost cried bleeping crocodile tears, fund-raisers working for his bleeping bleep held a hush-hush meeting within 24 hours on how to raise the bleeping money.

There is only one difference between bleeping Congressman Jackson, and bleeping Mr. Obama. (He ain’t no bleeping Senator now, and he won’t be bleeping President-Elect until Monday.) Both of them have cheerfully been in bed with the bleeping Governor for years. But Obama, unlike Jackson, knows when it’s time to jump out of bed, grab his clothes, run for the bleeping door, and claim innocence.

You can take the bleeping politician out of Chicago, but you can’t take the bleeping Chicago out of the politician.
John Armor is a graduate of Yale, and Maryland Law School, and has 33 years practice at law in the US Supreme Court. Mr. Armor has authored seven books and over 750 articles. Armor happily lives on a mountaintop in the Blue Ridge. He can be reached at:

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