-By Warner Todd Huston
So, scientists find the dead bodies of dozens of dolphins and baby porpoises near Miami, Florida and across the pond along Scotland’s East Coast. These aquatic mammals where literally beaten to death with multiple internal injuries, lacerations, contusions and the like. Back in 1997 the whole C.S.I. treatment was given these animals and guess who these scientists first blamed? You guessed it, the United States Military. It turns out, however, that scientists have now realized that it is the “smartest” fishie on earth that is responsible. Yes, they were surprised to discover that dolphins are outright murderers. So much for a “smarter” more “peaceful” ocean, eh?
The Telegraph gives us the tale of the dolphins gone wild.
New evidence has been compiled by marine scientists that prove the normally placid dolphin is capable of brutal attacks both on innocent fellow marine mammals and, more disturbingly, on its own kind.
So, when are we going to see an episode of cops where a dolphin gets led into a cell with a coat over its head?
Scientists first came across their watery mystery in 1997.
The first clues to solving the riddle came in 1997 when, by coincidence, marine biologists in Virginia were finding young, dead dolphins with horrific internal injuries at the same time as young porpoises were washing up on Scotland’s north-east coast with identical causes of death. The body count was growing in both locations.
The Telegraph slips this one by to explain scientists original failed theory.
The two groups of biologists pooled information and, at first, it was believed the mammals had died through ‘blast trauma’. In American cases, this was supposedly from exercises by the US Navy, and in Scotland from air guns used by oil rig technicians to detect undersea caverns.
Naturally, the very first thing to blame was the U.S. Government in general and those evil fish murderers in the U.S. Military. No proof needed, see, they just assumed that it must be so. After all, isn’t that the job of the U.S. Military? Further, don’t they enjoy roaming about the planet and pointlessly murdering the most beloved mammals of the oceans? Why, gosh, all mighty… it HAS to be those rotten S.O.B.’s in the U.S. Military, right?
Well, on second thought…
This theory was dismissed after further examination of the mammals’ bodies revealed the injuries – broken ribs, imploding lungs, damaged livers and massive internal bleeding – could only have come from prolonged, focused attacks.
Any apology for falsely accusing the U.S. Military, I wonder? Probably shouldn’t hold our collective breath, eh? The Telegraph spends no more time to worry about past slights to our nation and Military.
So, it turns out it was the stinkin’ dolphins what done it! Yes, the most “peaceful,” “normally placid,” “smartest” fishy on earth that is responsible for these senseless murders!
Continue reading “Baby Dolphin Murders Blamed on US Military… Culprit OTHER Dolphins!”