-By Warner Todd Huston
I guess out on Lake Blowbegone, patriotism isn’t kosher? Keillor just seems, nose in the air, to find all that lowborn patriotism so woefully gauche. At least, one might get that impression by reading the attack penned by Garrison Keillor against the patriotism evinced by the folks who don their red, white and blue, along with their leather jackets and hop on their Hogs to join the long line of motorcycle riders at “Rolling Thunder” on Memorial Day in Washington D.C. This year, Keillor was so put off by the patriotic bikers that he was driven to his keyboard to regale us all with his bad metaphors and surly disposition.
With “The roar of hollow patriotism,” Keillor found that he just couldn’t stomach the loud patriotism expressed by the Harley riders in D.C. He also seemed to say that if you are a “fat man with a ponytail” you shouldn’t be allowed to express that patriotism in a manner you so wish to express it.
Three-hundred thousand bikers spent Memorial Day weekend roaring around Washington in tribute to our war dead, and I stood on Constitution Avenue Sunday afternoon watching a river of them go by, waiting for a gap in the procession so I could cross over to the Mall and look at pictures.
A “river” of motorcycles? Seems a rather inapt metaphor, doesn’t it? Maybe “stampede” or “herd,” might make more sense, but when I think “river” I think a serene scene of nature as opposed to the cacophony of motorbikes.
But, bad metaphors abound. They get more vicious, too.
A patriotic bike rally is sort of like a patriotic toilet-papering or patriotic graffiti; the patriotism somehow gets lost in the sheer irritation of the thing. Somehow a person associates Memorial Day with long moments of silence when you summon up mental images of men huddled together on LSTs and pilots revving up B-24s and infantrymen crouched behind piles of rubble steeling themselves for the next push.
I find myself mouth agape at the hate expressed by Keillor against these patriotic folks. Is this vitriol warranted?
I also paused after that paragraph searching my mind for a mean way to describe a liberal’s patriotic rally of some sort. But, after wracking my little head for 10 minutes, I realized that it is impossible to describe something that has never happened. At least Keillor had seen a biker’s rally so that he could lampoon them! I’d have to make up what a liberal’s rally might look like from pure imagination. And I just cannot justify the waste of time.
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