Voting Democrat is Wholly Illogical Based Only on Childish Feelings

-By Warner Todd Huston

This is one of those chain emails that I rarely bother with. But this one is particularly funny and bitingly true. Well, true after I rewrote it a bit…

Why I Vote Democrat

  • I voted Democrat because I believe a 4% profit by oil companies on a gallon of gas is obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% (or more) isn’t.
  • I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending my money than I can.
  • I voted Democrat because because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it. And if I can stop those other people from saying those things then let’s write a law or something.
  • I voted Democrat because because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves who strike without notice.
  • I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can’t tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don’t start driving a Prius, buy Carbon Credits, or do without modern comforts.
  • I voted Democrat because I’m not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all murderers on death row alive.
  • I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits at my expense.
  • I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make a profit. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as we Democrats see fit.
  • I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few weeks to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters otherwise.
  • I voted Democrat because I think that it’s better to pay billions to get oil from people who hate us, but not drill for our own because it might upset some endangered beetle or a gopher or something.
  • I voted Democrat because I am sick and tired of all the mean-spirited rhetoric in politics. And if you don’t like that, you are a racist, homophobe that wants to kill old people and children… oh, and you’re a Nazi.
  • I voted Democrat because while we live in the greatest, most wonderful country in the world, I want to change it all with that promised “HOPE AND CHANGE.”
  • I voted Democrat because the United States has been the most evil influence on the world and we need to take her arrogance down a notch. After all, we are worse than terrorists, our school teachers told us so!
  • But most of all I voted Democrat because it makes me better than YOU just because…. well, just because it makes me feeeeeel good.

I was reminded of this one by Texas Fred who has a great blog. See it at:

(By the way, I’ve seen one like this for Republicans, too.)
“The only end of writing is to enable the reader better to enjoy life, or better to endure it.”
–Samuel Johnson

Warner Todd Huston is a Chicago based freelance writer. He has been writing opinion editorials and social criticism since early 2001 and before that he wrote articles on U.S. history for several small American magazines. His political columns are featured on many websites such as Andrew Breitbart’s,, and, as well as,,,,, among many, many others. Mr. Huston is also endlessly amused that one of his articles formed the basis of an article in Germany’s Der Spiegel Magazine in 2008.

For a full bio, please CLICK HERE.

Copyright Publius Forum 2001