The LOOO-HOO-HOO-SER

-By Gary Krasner

Of course, with that title I refer to none other than Don Trump.

Hillary had 2 horrible weeks. So bad, that Trump could have been up 10 points by now, if he had just shut his blasted mouth.

But no, the narcissist can’t shut up. He must draw attention to himself. And he can’t deliver a scripted speech. Boy, is that secret out now.

His scripted speeches are delivered in monotone, as if he were a 6 year old reading something out loud. At least now I know why he eschews reading a teleprompter. He knows he’s bad.

But does he know that he can’t explain crap? I mean anything! Does he even know he’s blowing up his campaign?

n eExample was the very first speech announcing his candidacy. All he had to say was, “no, of course I didn’t mean that all Mexicans are killers and rapists.”

And when you understand his inability to explain, or to backtrack from a comment he has made, you understand what happened today:

Trump: “Obama and Hillary founded ISIS.”

Conservative Talk show hosts trying to help him: “Sure, I think you mean that Obama left insufficient forces in Iraq, and then didn’t react fast enough to stop ISIS from expanding in the region.”

Trump: “No, he founded ISIS. ISIS celebrates Obama.”

Conservative Talk show host trying to help him: “OK, but you don’t mean that literally. Obama hates ISIS, right. You just mean that Obama’s inaction enabled ISIS to grow. Yes?”

Trump: “I don’t know that. I only know he founded ISIS.”

Conservative Talk show host trying to help him (in tears, thinking to himself) : “We’re screwed!”.

Analysts at GARY PREDICTS say that tomorrow, Hillary’s hacked emails will show that she actually killed Bill’s dog “Buddy” 19 yrs ago, in retaliation for his infidelity.

And as sure as Monday follows Sunday, concurrent to that disclosure, Trump will make these remarks in another interview:

Trump: “My father was Superman.”

Conservative Talk show host trying to help him: “Sure, all little boys looked up to their dads when growing up.”

Trump: “I just know that my father was Superman.”

Conservative Talk show host trying to help him: “OK, that’s fine. I understand that your father was a very accomplished realtor.”

Trump: “I don’t know that. i only know he was Superman.”

Conservative Talk show host trying to help him (very hesitantly asking): “You mean, born on the planet Krypton, ‘Superman’?!”

Trump: “Yeah, Superman.”

Conservative Talk show host trying to help him (welling up in tears, and thinking to himself) : “We’re screwed!”.

Thanks Republicans, your guy “won.”


Copyright Publius Forum 2001