Headline Potpourri #21: NYT Phrenologists, Mr. Turtle Shackled, & Rampaging Huffington

-By Frederick Meekins

A New York Times correspondent insists that Americans living in the middle of the country have sloping foreheads. Weren’t the Nazis also obsessed with equating cranial shape with intelligence?

The Washington Post labeled Glenn Beck as a “creature” in regards to his pending rally in Israel. I thought bastions of tolerance such as the Post use to warm that such linguistic dehumanization was the first step taken by the Nazis.

Since the average American is no longer able to go much of anywhere because of gas prices, environmentalists are now set to declare against home entertainment devices. It is claimed that these machines use too much electricity. Before it’s all over with, they will probably summarily execute those of us wearing eye glasses and march everyone else out to toil in the rice paddies. It will likely fall under Frau Obama’s “Let’s Move” campaign.

Arianna Huffington heralds rampaging mobs as “democratic”. When this Communist rabble comes to loot her wealth, will she still feel as cheerful?

Is it that kiddy pools represent a threat to the youth of America or is this about creating a panic to justify a new revenue source when the permits required for large pools are extended to shackle Mr. Turtle?

The Zero Seconds Initiative insists that is how long a child should be left alone in a car. While this sounds enlightened, given the way other kinds of zero tolerance policies are enforced such as those banning plastic utensils in school cafeterias, are cops & bureaucrats on powertrips going to charge parents as negligent if the trip from the front of the car to the back takes more than one second?

If natural disasters in America are the result of the U.S. government backing a two state solution to the Israeli/Palestinian conflict as certain theologians insist, why do these tragedies strike the heartland of the country where the common folk have virtually no sway over foreign policy rather than a particular building in Foggy Bottom. You’d think an omnipotent God would have better aim.

CNN asked presidential candidates Coke or Pepsi. There will be neither when we are all living in FEMA slave camps.

Bob Ehrlich operatives that utilized robocallers to deceive Maryland Democrats into not voting could get decades in prison. Black Panthers that actually threatened at polling places those not voting for Obama were set free and likely continued to receive any assortment of public assistance programs.

Miracle Grow has been linked to pot cultivation. So will consumers be required to have their photo ID’s verified to purchase the chemical the way we are in regards to nasal decongestants?

New Yorkers should be more concerned about Commissar Bloomberg curtailing basic gastronomical liberties such salt levels rather than how Sarah Palin decides to eat a slice of pizza.

If parents are not allowed to spank children according to one Texas judge, then why should bailiffs or deputies be allowed to use physical force if a litigant in that particular judge’s courtroom gets out of line?

Since most stadiums employ facial recognition recording technology, the Immigration Service should deport every single person that booed the American team in favor of the Mexicans at the soccer match in LA.

If the USA isn’t good enough to cheer for in a soccer match, don’t leech off America economically (especially if that entails some kind of public assistance handout).

The 2011 Smithsonian Folk Life Festival is highlighting the nation of Columbia. Will this include authentic narcoterrorist kidnapping reenactments?

China ranked in a survey as the world’s happiest nation. Anyone saying that they felt otherwise has no doubt been “dealt with accordingly”.
Dr. Frederick Meekins is an Internet columnist. He holds a BS from the University of Maryland in Political Science/History and a MA in Apologetics & Christian Philosophy from Trinity Theological Seminary. He is currently pursuing a Doctor of Practical Theology through the Master’s Graduate School Of Divinity in Evansville, Indiana. Frederick’s research interests include Worldview Application, Christian Apologetics, The Implications of Aberrant Theologies & Ideologies, Futurology, Eschatology, Science Fiction, Terrorism Studies, Environmentalism, Education Policy and America’s Judeo-Christian Foundations. Frederick is also an ordained Non-Denominational Minister and listed in “Who’s Who In America” and in “Who‘s Who Of Emerging Leaders“. Media inquiries can be directed to: americanworldview@hotmail.com. His books “Yuletide Terror & Other Holiday Horrors” and “Provide For The Common Defense: Thoughts Concerning The Nation’s Enemies” are available at http://stores.lulu.com/fmeekins. His blog, The Epistolizer, can be found at http://epistolizer.blogspot.com.

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