A Tiger Tale

-By Vince Johnson

Watch the Tiger Woods affair closely. I have a theory that the negatives of his scandal are being turned into a positive. The realities are worth review:

1. 1. Any tournament Tiger competed in the past 6 years had a significantly larger audience than those tournaments where he was absent.

2. 2. To save Tiger’s amazing drawing power the PGA was forced to initiate a “damage control” strategy and in doing so may have stumbled upon an opportunity to substantially increase his TV audiences for the 2010 season.

In December 2009 the scandal began with a driveway accident that gradually evolved into a mind bending scandal involving infidelity, kinky affairs and several women. This resulted in wide publicity appearing in every conceivable medium published or broadcast in America.

When the “Scandal Management” teams from the PGA, CBS, and Tiger’s private staff took over, Tiger retreated in silence and remained out of public view during December 2009 and January 2010. The networks wanted a recess in scandal talk to allow maximized viewer interest in the NFL Playoffs/Super Bowl by _minimizing_ interest in Tiger Woods.

Shortly after Valentine’s Day in February 2010, Tiger released a statement of apology. (Tiger would never be allowed to even think about apologizing for his marital infidelities until at least five days after Valentine’s Day. These Damage Control guys think of everything!) This is also a judicious and cost effective time to schedule such an event. The TV networks need to see all the scandalizing commentary cleared up before the NCAA “March Madness” basketball playoffs begin.

Immediately after his statement of apology, we will be hearing rumors regarding whether or not Tiger will return to golf in time for the 2010
Masters Tournament in early April. Once again the hype will be unleashed in torrents of questions and commentary in every form of media available. Vegas might even give odds on whether or not Tiger will play. There will be articles in the Wall Street Journal regarding how the TV rates for commercials will go up or down depending upon Tiger’s decision to tee, or not to tee.

Once Tiger announces his intention to play in the Masters, the pundits will go wild with questions and commentary. Is this is announcement real, or is he just testing the waters? Will the PGA catch static if they allow it? Will the galleries allow him to have the same respectful silence he had in previous tournaments? Will the world see him falter under the pressure? Will Nike allow him to wear their logo?

If the strategy is successful, the TV audience should be the greatest in the history of golf. Tiger wins even if he finishes last. All the players win. The advertisers win. CBS wins. And of course, the PGA, who set up the whole multi-million dollar deal, wins.

And while all the winners will be congratulating themselves, I’ll be congratulating somebody else. There won’t be a crowd of reporters waiting impatiently to hear what I have to say. There won’t be 28 mikes under my nose sending my congratulations all over the world. People won’t be talking about my announcement for several days over internet, or on those morning TV shows, or writing about it in USA Today, or anywhere else.

So without further ado, I hereby announce my congratulations to all those people who live their lives keeping their word, and honoring their families by resisting temptation day after day. Some might say this is a back-slap at Tiger. Maybe so, but it seems to me that while those who break their word get all the attention and sympathy, those who keep their word deserve to at least be remembered, and appreciated.
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Vince Johnson welcomes comments. Please send them to,Vince Johnson(vjadtrak@wvi.com)
See Vince in the new book Americans on Politics. Policy, and Pop-Culture.

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