Our Newest Op Ed

O Friendship Tree, O Friendship Tree
– By Christian Hartsock

When they’re not thinking up laughable euphemisms for the mythological “penumbra emanation” of an alleged entitlement to commit ruthless infanticide against helpless infants such as “a woman’s right to choose,” liberals are scratching their heads in a desperate effort to think up alternative names for those unidentified ornament-adorned objects that normal people tend to refer to as “Christmas trees.” Some ingenious appellations have sprung up, including “giving trees,” “paradise trees,” “world trees,” “friendship trees,” or the most popular candidate, “holiday trees,” while those who obstinately insist on calling them what they are are rightly deemed primitive and intolerant.

During Christmas season one year, a father was bewildered to find a watercolor painting his four-year-old son had done in school of a menorah and seven candles painted green, red and black representing Kwanzaa, yet there was no inclusion of a Christmas tree. When he inquired of his son as to its absence, his son replied, “We have the friendship tree.” Puzzled, the father decided to take his son to school the next day only to find hallway bulletin boards adorned with menorahs and the words “Happy Hanukah,” as well as green, red and black candles with letters announcing “The Miracle of Kwanzaa,” but when he got to the end of a long hallway he found a pine tree on a table. After asking the principal of the school what it was, the principal replied, “That is our friendship tree.” As any reasonable person would do, the father asked why it was not called a “Christmas tree,” to which the principal responded, “Oh, we’re trying to make sure we don’t offend people.” ………..
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