In Defense of Washington’s Four-legged Rats!

-By Don Boys, Ph.D.

I have been attacked by dog and cat lovers because of my column, “No Dogs, Ducks, or Dinosaurs in Heaven; Not Even Cats, Cows or Crows!” but now I am experiencing the slings and arrows of rat lovers because of my column “Getting Rid of Rats in Washington!” that was recently published. One writer suggested that I was wrong about rats being covered by the District law but he did not know that some rats are covered by the D.C. law and others are not.

Another writer, in defense of rats, said she was “utterly disgusted” with what I wrote. Foaming at the mouth she asked “Who are you to decide which animals is (sic) worthy of living and who’s (sic) lives are not?” Sweetheart, I have every right to decide what animals are worth living. Who else? Some dogs are acceptable, some are not. Most goldfish would be all right; however, rats, mice, roaches, mosquitoes, bedbugs, etc., are to be stepped on or trapped. Maybe shot.

Continuing her rant, she wrote, “Rats are social, loving and amazing animals….Wild or domestic, rats are simply amazing.” She took a deep breath and added that Washington was doing the right thing and the relocation process was an “amazing accomplishment”! My adjective would be idiotic.

She assured me that she would never value a dog over a rat (she has both) and asked if I would thin out the world’s population by killing off those people on the lower end of society. Isn’t that coherent, correct, and cogent thinking? She must be a college professor with that kind of non-thinking but her numerous misspelled words make me question that. Most college professors know how to use a spell-checker.

My female critic then wrote, that “rats are not dirty,” but then, like beauty, dirty is in the eyes of the beholder. I think she needs to get out of her narrow world of rats and begin to live.

She opined, “They [rats] do what they can to survive.” I do to; I kill rats at every opportunity. However, carrying deadly disease does not help rats survive, and history proves that rats have been the vehicle for killing millions of humans. Surely, my critic will agree that in the whole scheme of things, people (even one person) are more precious than all the rats in and out of captivity.

Wiping the froth from her mouth, she wrote that rats were not responsible for the Bubonic Plague. That is the only accurate statement she made in her lengthy reply. I did not suggest that rats caused the plague. Every educated person knows that it was fleas that rode the rats in ships from the Middle East and Asia into the harbors of Europe often with almost every sailor dead or dying of plague.

She added, “It was the mosquitos who transfered (sic) them to humans. So why not kill off all the mosquitos?” Would any sane person not agree that it would be good for all mosquitoes to be killed? I can assure everyone that all the people I know in Africa and Australia would agree with my desire: Kill all mosquitoes! Moreover, all sane people would join that chorus.

It was malaria-infested female mosquitoes that brought down empires such as Greece. Historians believe ancient Greece fell into Roman hands because of malaria (endemic throughout the Greek world by 400 B.C.) attacks, not because of marching armies.
My critic thought the cause of the Black Death was mosquitoes not fleas! Obviously she has not read my book, ISLAM; America’s Trojan Horse! where I dealt with plagues and how people responded to them in the Middle Ages.

She declared, ”I find your article quite offensive to the rat community as a whole.” Question: How does she know the attitude of the “rat community as a whole”? But then, what do I know?

Winding down, she wrote, “You’re (sic) personal opinion on the matter is not valued in any shape way or form, miseading, (sic) misinformed, etc…” Question: Not valued by whom? She was speaking only for herself, a disturbed, rat-loving woman. In a few days, she will probably be embarrassed at her silly missive.

Closing, she once again reminded me how disgusted she was with my column and wrote, “If you have nothing good to say, please shut the **** up! I’m not sure what **** means. Surely, this dainty lady was not trying to disguise her dirty mouth. Even filthy rats don’t do that.
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Dr. Don Boys is a former member of the Indiana House of Representatives, author of 13 books, frequent guest on television and radio talk shows, and wrote columns for USA Today for 8 years His most recent book is ISLAM: America’s Trojan Horse! His websites are www.cstnews.com and www.Muslimfact.com.)

Boys’ columns are copyrighted and may be republished, reposted, or emailed providing the person or organization doing so does not charge for subscriptions or advertising and the column is copied intact and the tag at the end in parentheses is included intact.


Copyright Publius Forum 2001