-By Frank Hyland
On the night of January 20th/21st, 2009, a large, dark SUV pulled onto the White House grounds and disgorged the deepest, darkest secret of the administration – In addition to Barack H. Obama, his twin brother, Tele P. Obama, resides in the White House and has covertly exercised the responsibilities of the Presidency ever since, whenever he could get away with it. The existence of Tele P., of course, has been kept a closely held secret by the President’s senior staff. But a review of the President’s actions over the past almost-three years has thrown a feared and unwanted spotlight on Tele P. In the process, the reputation of the President’s senior staff, which has been much maligned as a lying bunch of Chicago thugs, has been restored. Just a brief review of the ill-considered, amateurish actions of Tele P. will quickly convince you of his existence:
** Barack told us all this August that he would unveil his Jobs Plan soon, in order to deal with the urgency of the situation. While Barack remained in the White House working feverishly, Tele P. was photographed on vacation in Martha’s Vineyard and telling us that he would give the speech when he returned, thereby destroying the sense of urgency expressed by Barack.
** Actually, Tele P. began countering Barack from the very beginning. Tele P. ignored the concerns of the American people and, while Barack was in his office working long and hard on a jobs program, Tele P. emphasized a healthcare reform package and targeted banks and Wall Street.
** Tele P. flat-out lied to the public on September 8th when he snuck into the Capitol building and told a joint session of Congress that the jobs plan had to be passed “right now.” He was uncovered the next day when the White House confessed that the bill wasn’t even ready yet and that we had to wait a week or two. The in-house version presented to everyone on the 12th of September, because of Tele P.’s shenanigans, closely resembled a Kinko’s reject, complete with a large paper clip in the upper left-hand corner.
** While Barack worked tirelessly late into the night, to repair the damage done to the nation by his predecessor, Tele P. effectively doubled the nation’s debt behind Barack’s back.
** While Barack pursued “Comprehensive Immigration Reform,” Tele P. sabotaged the effort by actually joining with a foreign nation – Mexico – to bring a lawsuit against one of the United States, the State of Arizona.
** On and on the tricks performed by Tele P. have continued – Referring to the Marine “Corpse;” sneaking out with Barack’s wife and spending hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars to see a play in New York City; trying lamely to joke about developmentally disabled children in the Special Olympics; giving the Queen of England recordings of his speeches as a present; referring to the “Austrian language,” and later saying “Cinco de Cuatro” when referring to the 5th of May (Cinco de Mayo).
Throughout all of these shenanigans, and to his credit, it must be said that Barack has remained remarkably calm and has continued doing his part to bring “Hope and Change” to the American people. It should be obvious, though, that on the other hand, Tele P. is extremely jealous of his twin brother, Barack, and will do anything and everything to sabotage Barack.
What should have been an early clue for us is that the number of mistakes committed by this administration is simply too large by far to have been committed by only one person. The fault, therefore, lies with us…..or with George W. Bush…..but certainly not with Barack.
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Frank Hyland is a long-time Writer/Editor who has written for The New Media Alliance, and also for The Reality Check and has appeared weekly on Life, Liberty & the Pursuit of Conservatism on Sunday evenings on Blog Talk Radio, along with Babe Huggett and Warner Todd Huston.