The horse and mule live thirty years, and none they know of wines and beers.
The goat and sheep at twenty die, with nary a taste of scotch or rye.
The cow drinks water by the ton, and at eighteen is mostly done.
The dog at sixteen cashes in, without the aid of rum or gin.
The cat in milk and water soaks, and then in twelve short years it croaks.
The modest, sober, bone dry hen, lays eggs for nogs, then dies at ten.
All animals are strictly dry, they sinless live yet swiftly die.
But sinful, ginful rum-soaked men, survive for three score years and ten.
And some of us, the mighty few, Stay pickled till we’re ninety two.
-Anonymous