-By Warner Todd Huston
And now a word from one of our “scientists” at the University of California…
You happy goofballs die young. That’s right, you heard me. A new study has determined that I will live forever because I am a grump and you smiling fools will die young. Take THAT! And get off my lawn while you are at it.
Much as I hate these pseudo scientific, time-wasting “studies” — all of them being a waste of my tax money at so-called universities that neither deserve the title nor the power — but this one suits my disposition, so I’m going to say that it must be true!
UPI is reporting that a study conducted under the auspices of some pointy-headed, tweed jacket-wearing, communist at the University of California, Riverside has shown that people with a cheery disposition die younger than us realistic, more sensible folks….
Read the rest at RightPundits.com.
____________
“The only end of writing is to enable the reader better to enjoy life, or better to endure it.”
–Samuel Johnson
Warner Todd Huston is a Chicago based freelance writer. He has been writing opinion editorials and social criticism since early 2001 and before that he wrote articles on U.S. history for several small American magazines. His political columns are featured on many websites such as Andrew Breitbart’s BigGovernment.com, BigHollywood.com, and BigJournalism.com, as well as RightWingNews.com, RightPundits.com, CanadaFreePress.com, StoptheACLU.com, AmericanDaily.com, among many, many others. Mr. Huston is also endlessly amused that one of his articles formed the basis of an article in Germany’s Der Spiegel Magazine in 2008.
For a full bio, please CLICK HERE.