-By Vince Johnson
October 14, 2009 – Aumsville, Oregon – Vince Johnson has temporarily vacated retirement to bring you up to date on what will be happening in the next couple years:
1). Congress will pass a Health Insurance Reform Act and within three years after its passage, all existing health insurance providers will be replaced by a government controlled health insurance program. The elite media will applaud this reality and explain that this outcome was inevitable because the majority of Americans lack sufficient education and initiative to resolve this issue on their own. The people will therefore gratefully accept the supreme wisdom of Congress with feeble complaint and the politicians will find it convenient to ignore any questions requiring an intelligent response.
2). The war in Afghanistan will continue without the addition of an adequate number of U.S. troops because the inner conscience of one who won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize for indecisively allowing the war to continue indefinitely, is honor bound to remain indecisive as long as it takes.
3). Albert Gore will announce that the severe winter of 2009 is indisputable proof that Global Warming is a certain and preeminent threat to civilization. The “Administration Approved” media will also applaud him as the second greatest genius in the history of humanity. By the way, the name of the truly greatest genius in history will become so sacred and revered, that it will only be appropriate to mention his name in a prayerful monotone and is therefore not mentioned herein.
4). Unemployment will be announced as “indefinable” by the Department of Labor due to a disagreement over the accuracy of data manipulated by an agency staffed by former members of Acorn. The administration will eventually announce that unemployment statistics will no longer be released because FOX News and some radio commentators will use these numbers in an effort to increase public stress to the point where Government Mental Health Programs would collapse due to patient overload.
5). Several executives who received multi-million dollar bonuses (funded by bail-outs authorized by Congress) will be rounded up by a team of U.S. Marshalls and brought to trial. The New York Times will glorify this effort because it will be ordered and overseen by Nancy Pelosi who will announce that her decision to bring incompetent executives to justice will prove to the entire world that her party can always find ways to rectify an error no matter how trivial.
A high school principal in Akron, Ohio will be fired for allowing a commencement speaker to:
- Warn the class of 2010 that Congress has borrowed many trillions of dollars direct from their future in order to have all kinds of things their parents could not afford.
- Advise the class that when unfunded entitlements such as Social Security and Government Health Care are included, their financial obligation to the Government in 2010 would exceed $300,000 each and for a class of 60 students, this would come to $18 million dollars!
- Advise them that for as long as they live, their tax payments will be far higher than their parents were ever required to pay and for this reason, they should be prepared to have a far lower standard of living than they had while living with their parents.
- Explain to them that their teachers were never required to tell anybody that this debt was intentionally and irreversibly forced upon each and every student in America without their knowledge or consent.
- Make them fully aware that each and every Congress elected by their parents and grandparents, have passed and sustained laws requiring the Courts to fine, and/or sentence them to prison when found guilty of failing to make their payments as directed by the IRS.
In closing, I will admit there is an outside chance some of these predictions will miss the mark, but that’s OK. For one reason or another, I found the urge to send them along to be overwhelmingly irresistible.
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Vince Johnson welcomes comments. Please send them to,Vince Johnson(vjadtrak@wvi.com)
See Vince in the new book Americans on Politics. Policy, and Pop-Culture.
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