-By Vince Johnson
Blah #1. Now that the election is over I’m wondering what the News Industry will use to keep their journalists busy. Those reporters who were asked to take early retirement will probably follow Joe Biden around just in case someone asks him a question. They will do this out of habit and an inborn drive to come up with a scoop.
Blah #2. My understanding of the word “enormous” reached new heights when I read the autobiography of William F. Buckley, Jr. I refer to the awesome dimensions of his ego, of course. Despite the vastness, it had something that attracted thoughtful appreciation. Perhaps it was a twinkle from a group of his ordinary genes wishing they could come out of hiding and mingle with the rest of us.
Blah #3. For sixty years whenever I heard the word “scrambled” I always thought of eggs This all changed when the media focused so much attention upon Joe Biden’s untiring efforts to outdo Dan Quayle.
Blah #4. If all political ads were factual, we would have a nation where none of the candidates would be suitable for election to the office they are running for. On the other hand, if all political ads were misleading, we would have a political system that rewards the ad industry with billions for distributing unreliable information. In the real world, none of us can know for sure which ads are true and with are not. It is time we realized that this is why we are in the mess we are in, and why we will never get out of it.
Blah #5. America absolutely refuses to recognize that we have only one political party. Years ago the politicians decided it would be wise to divide into sides to make it appear that there were two parties instead of one. This worked much better. When things went wrong, one side blamed the other side, and when things went good, both sides took credit. Since nearly everything went wrong most of the time, each party told the voters it was time for a change. They have said that at every election anyone can remember. What else would you expect them to say? When things get messy, it is always time for a “change” and sooner or later, things like politics and diapers always get messy don’t they? I think it is time to deal with each and every politician just like we deal with each and every messy diaper: “When they get messy, replace with disposables!”
Blah #6. A British study has found that washable diapers, which British officials have often pointed to as a solution toward saving the environment, have a higher carbon footprint than disposable diapers. The washable diapers could have a lower carbon footprint, but would require parents to hang dry them all year round, use them on multiple children, and not wash them with water exceeding 140F. (60C) *This study may have merit because the UK Sunday Times has copies of restricted U.K. documents showing that the British government has told its spokespeople not to give the diaper report any publicity. *Source: National Center for Policy Analysis 10/2008
Blah #7. The term “Ninja-loans” isn’t in the dictionary yet, but it could be soon. Here’s the current definition: A loan or mortgage given to a person who has no income, no job, and no assets. Also: NINJA loan. From the phrase, No Income, No Job or Assets. Here’s my take on this: A few years ago lobbyists advised their clients that Congress would bail out banks, investment firms, etc. who had helped under-qualified get loans to buy homes, cars, flat screens, boats, etc. You saw the ads. “Play Now, Pay Later.” “No Payments Until Next Year!” So the system was quickly loaded with “Ninja-Loans” and when the crunch emerged, sure enough, Congress bailed them out! – Conclusion: If you are a huge company, invest in whatever it takes to influence Congress. If you are a taxpayer, invest in whatever it takes to replace the incumbents. Ha, ha, ha. Disposable diapers are good for what ails the environment. Disposable politicians are good for what ails America!
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Vince Johnson welcomes comments. Please send them to,Vince Johnson(vjadtrak@wvi.com)
See Vince in the new book Americans on Politics. Policy, and Pop-Culture.