– By Vince Johnson
I have decided to run as an Independent Candidate for President of the United States of America in 2008. The “official” announcement will be made sometime around May 1, 2007 at three separate locations:
1. Beach Dog Cafe in Lincoln City, Oregon. 2. Coast Roast Coffee Company at Salishan in Gleneden Beach, Oregon. 3. A site yet to be determined in Stayton, Salem, or Aumsville, Oregon.
This decision was made after determining that the American Electorate is currently divided into two categories
The “Stupid Fool” Category, which believes politicians are capable of running our country and continues to elect and re-elect them, term after term.
The “Special Fool” Category which recognizes the reality that politicians are ruining the country rather than running it.
It has also been determined that the “Stupid Fools” outnumber the “Special Fools” by a ratio of at least 100,000 to 1. Some may object to the “Stupid Fool” name for such a vast majority, but what name is more appropriate for a group that actually believes all those promises made over the past 100 years about reducing waste, elevating the ethical integrity of Congress, simplifying taxes, reducing our national debt, etc. etc?
As you may surmise, I am after the “Special Fool” vote. By “Special Fool”, I mean those kinds of fools that got into little wooden boats to cross the stormy Atlantic in search of freedom and lower taxes. Oh yes, there were all kinds of “Special Fools” in those early days. One “Special Fool” known as Thomas A. Edison invented and patented the incandescent lamp when hardly any home in America was wired for electricity! As a fool, he was certainly something special!
Two other “Special Fools” nearly went broke inventing an airplane that only certified maniacs would consider flying in. And how about the gentleman with the funny name, “Birdseye” who marketed frozen strawberries when the freezer portion of all home refrigerators only had room to hold a dozen ice cubes? Those are the types of “Special Fools” I am talking about. There is a big difference between a “Stupid Fool” and a “Special Fool.”
I am not sure how many “Special Fools” were involved in connecting the East and West Coasts with a railroad without being protected by OSHA. It is fortunate that this agency was created after the work was completed. I wonder where America would be today if it had not been for “Special Fools” like those who built the Golden Gate Bridge and those of our Greatest Generation who gave their lives defending America at places like Iwo Jima and Omaha Beach.
If you want to see a project dreamed up by politicians and funded by those “Stupid Fools” who elected them, check out the “Big Dig” under Boston. It is a ten-lane highway that the politicians promised would be completed in three years at a cost of $2.5 billion. Construction began in 1994 after spending 8 years obtaining environmental clearance. It opened in January 2006 only to be closed in July 2006 after a taxpayer was killed when a defective portion of the ceiling collapsed. Cost to date is over $15 billion! This means we elected politicians that took 12 years and $15 billion to do a job they told us would take three years and $2.5 billion to complete!
If you think there is a better name than “Stupid Fools” for voters who keep electing politicians that waste our money on things like Boston’s “Big Dig,” let me know ASAP. The world is waiting!
I believe I should run for President even though my chances of winning are zero. I believe it is time all “Special Fools” got together for the specific purpose of delivering a message. We need to let our politicians know that at least a few of the fools in America are getting tired of electing politicians who make promises they have no intention of keeping, quietly raise their salaries whether they deserve them or not, and proudly authorize funds for projects that our kids will be making (tax) payments on as long as they live.
Get with the “Special Fools For Vince Movement Today.” Use your vote to send a message. I will deliver it very loud, and very clear.
Comments are always welcome. Please send them to,Vince Johnson(vjadtrak@centurytel.net)