Our Newest Op Ed

George W. Bush Hates Spotted Owls
– By Warner Todd Huston

It’s true. I used to be a big Bush supporter, but now I just cannot do it anymore. Oh, it wouldn’t be so bad if Bush just disliked the Spotted Owl, or even birds in general, preferring dogs or some other such common American house pet. But, no, he is taking this hatred of the Spotted Owl to a typically, over the top Republican conspiracy level that just turns my stomach.

We now have it confirmed that Bush has arranged an invasion of the Spotted Owl’s Pacific-Northwestern territory by the American Barred Owl population from the southeast. It is suspected that JEB Bush has brokered a deal with these vicious Barred Owls in Florida and arranged that they will push the Spotted Owls right out of their homes.

There is no report on what the Barred Owls will get from this deal, but it is suspected that they will get a healthy share in oil exploration rights off the California coast, or maybe a giant pile of dead mice… we aren’t sure which……….

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